3 Reasons You Need a Business Bestie for a Better Business & Life

3 Reasons You Need a Business Bestie for a Better Business & Life

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I’m super excited to talk to anyone who will listen about this topic because I don’t think I’d have two businesses or one business if it wasn’t for my real life business bestie. Running from business from home can make you feel really isolated and alone. I mean, you’re work and home life are literally in the same spaces…when do you catch a break?

I feel like I meet a lot of women who feel that when it comes to their business ventures that they don’t have people in their corner who relate to their struggle, especially as parents having a business, they don’t have people who relate to their struggles. The staying up late at night, or waking up extra early, trying to get your kid to shut up while you’re on the phone with a client…the list goes on….We need people to understand where we’re coming from to vent to, celebrate success with and brainstorm with now and again.

So that’s why I was drawn to do this Facebook live about business besties, how to pick ‘em and where to find ‘em.

Watch the full and fun video here and be sure that you comment on Facebook that you’re a replay viewer so I can log in and say hey to ya. 😉

I know we don’t always have to time to view a video…I mean I barely had to time to film it. LOL. So here’s a transcript/summary and you can catch the video later!

Before I Had a Business, I Had a Baby

I had my first child, Mikel, when I was 17.

At that time in my life, as a victim of sexual abuse, doing poorly in school and living a life that today, I wouldn’t want my daughter to live.

But, back then, when I got pregnant, y’all, I thought I was so GROWN. I mean, I must be a woman now for real, right? I was carrying a life and felt like that gave me some sort of insight that I hadn’t felt I had before.

In realist terms, I felt like I just knew everything. I googled so much before Mikel was born it was crazy. I read all the books I could get my hands on. I think I still have a copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.”

So when Mikel took his slow time climbing out of my womb on a muggy day in September of 2006, I just knew I wouldn’t need any help. Me also being a defiant teenager trying to go against every principle taught to me…I wanted no help and advice from the supporters in my life.

At that time, that was my grandmother (rest her soul), my aunt Sheran and my mother.

Oh my god…we argued so much those first couple of weeks. And that baby was running me into the ground. Being grown wasn’t as fun as I thought it’d be. My grandmother was constantly clucking at me…

“Kanani, you betta go on and take a nap while that baby is sleeping. Sleep when that baby sleep.” 

Did I listen….? Nope.

Fast forward a month, y’all I was worn out, exhausted, lookin’ crazy, had the bags under my eyes that I could pick up trash in and damn this baby was expensive for a teenage couple making minimum wage.

I feeling depressed.

Postpartum depression is real, y’all but that’s another topic for a different day.

This was harder than I thought. Granted…I was a child myself and motherhood for any mother at any age is hard on the body mentally and physically.

One day, I guess my Granma had had enough and pulled me aside and told me that she was taking the baby and I was to lay down and get some sleep immediately. She said I looked like I was about to fall out and ‘catch the post partum’. Out of habit, I resisted.

And then, sitting in a rocking chair that didn’t quite rock anymore, she said,

“Ka-na-di (that’s how she pronounced my name) , it takes a village to raise these kids. You need to accept help from us or you gonna run yourself into the hole.”

And with that, she took little two month old Mikel and they stayed in the den and I went to bed in her bed that day and got some rest. And from that point on and after an amazing day of sleep, I started to tap into my village. I mean we still had our ups and downs, I’m pretty hard headed. But turns out I had more people in my corner than I’d ever imagined and they would support me and carry me further than I could have ever thought.

As an adult reflecting on my life, my own decisions and the lessons I may have inadvertently picked up from the people in my life, it really made me think,

  • What about in other areas of life?
  • What about in business?
  • Does it take a village to raise a business owner?

And after reflecting, I have the answer to that question. And the answer is YES. So today, if you take NOTHING away from what I say this morning, let it be this.

It takes a village to raise a business owner who can build profitable businesses while maintaining their work life balance and sanity. Find a village. Encourage one another and open your village to others.

I genuinely believe we need the same support when we’re starting businesses, building businesses, being parents, anything that involves and doing the whole, “Oh shoot, I’ve still gotta do ‘all the things,” that comes with being a woman or being a mother.

Raising babies ain’t easy.

Raising a business ain’t no walk in the park, either.

Why You Need a Business Bestie In Ya Life

Needless to say when I started my interior demolition business with my husband, I knew immediately, I needed a village or at the least ONE person that is about they business and yours, because doing both ALONE…that’s just insane.

And that one person, I like to give the title business bestie. I started out with one and now I’ve got business besties near and far.

The idea of starting our own demo company came during the worst time of year.

October. The beginning of holiday season.

If you know what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck, you know how sucky it is during the holiday season when you’re trying to give everything you’ve got to your kids. You’ve got Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year. For us, it always felt like the holidays kicked off in September, since we have two birthday boys in September, only days apart.

So my hubby and I have this idea, an amazing opportunity and only ourselves and lack of money in our way.

Feeling really vulnerable, scared and do you know that feeling you have when you just don’t know what to do, you know what needs to be done but not quite sure the path? That was me. That’s where I was at.

So, in true bestie fashion, I went over to my real life business bestie and best friend’s house, Larissa. She already knew we were considering starting a business and I told her…we just don’t have the money for this.

We’d be using our last and borrowing money to get the business registered, get the insurance (and lord have mercy, workers comp insurance is EXPENSIVE!) I didn’t cry but I was pretty distressed and complained that we’d have a pretty bare holiday if we took this chance right now. And if we did spend our last, I didn’t know how I could jump right into this not knowing how to handle a ton of HR stuff because we would need to hire people…

I remember clearly sitting on her couch and she said,

“First of all, best friend, you were made for this. All you ever talk about is striking out on your own and getting out of corporate. Being with the kids more, buying a house, you need this to work and because of that, “I KNOW that you WILL make it work.” Because anything you set your mind too, you make happen.”

That’s the first thing she said, y’all. Gave me all the warm and fuzzies.

Then she hit me with a second thing, also in true best friend fashion, Larissa said she was insulted.

Why?

Because I knew good and damn well that she could help out with some of the paperwork that was scaring me because she did that full time in her then job as a HR Manager for a moving company.

And third, she reminded me that though we’d be lacking at that moment, our future was a sure thing if we could get this business going and then the kids will have so much more than one good holiday. They’d have more than that and then some. We’re talking generational wealth.

 On that day, she was my village.

  • …And now, I’m a full time mom running my business from my living room.
  • I was able to resign from my ‘regular job’ after Thanksgiving of 2017.
  • Our demo company, is doin’ pretty good.
  • We closed our first year of business with six figures of income and…
  • we’re currently looking for our first home.

And that is why you need a business bestie in your life.

A Business Bestie Will Support You Through All Things

Whether it’s your real life bestie that is an amazing business bestie or someone you met recently or in the near future….a real business bestie will support you when you’re at your lowest. They’ll support you with word of encouragement, maybe with their time and expertise and sometimes they’ll support you just by understanding where you’re coming from and how that aligns with where you’re going.

So that was the start of my small business owner journey. Now Larissa is a business owner, too.

Why?

A Business Bestie Is Perfect to Collaborate With

Business besties help generate new ideas and they are GREAT to collaborate with.

When Larissa encouraged me in 2016 to rock out with our business, she didn’t know that she was putting into motion what would be her own small business journey. She often tells me that watching us become successful and hearing what pains I was dealing with as a business owner, she thought, ”Hey, I can help with some of that stuff.”

In 2017, she launched her virtual assisting company, She Assist, and started helping women with their businesses by providing human resource services. I know this won’t surprise you, but I was her first client. Fast forward to now and she’s now a full time stay at home mom with multiple clients and more in store.

A Business Bestie Is All Aboard the Celebration Train

You need a business bestie because no one celebrates a business win with you better than a business owner that gets what it took for you to secure that bag. We need people in our lives that ‘just get it.’ When I call Larissa to say “Girlllll…I just scheduled a new email series for my readers,” she gets it and says “Girlllll whatttt, you DID that!”

What to Look for In A Business Bestie

You don’t wanna just go pick any ole’ body to be your business bestie. You gotta have standards, sis. 

The following traits are things I personally look for that I think you should look for, too, BUT everyone’s different so don’t feel you have to stick to just these things I mention. 

Make Sure Your Business Bestie Can Handle You Emotionally

Emotional strength was a big thing for me. I know me and my life and y’all, it’s crazy the stuff that goes on in my life! I know I’m not the only one…Your business bestie should be able to listen to you and encourage you without judgment.

You’re looking for someone who will allow you to vent, lift you up and keep it moving.

She Needs To Push You You Further Than You Push Yourself

You want someone who is going to see your potential and know they can push you just a little further.

Sometimes, I would set my goals a little low. When I do that, Larissa is quick to say, ‘’Um, excuse me ma’am, you can do better than that!” And I’m like, ” You know what, you’re right! And just like that I now set the bar higher for myself. You want your business bestie to not just see who you are now but see who you have the potential to become.

Get a Business Bestie That Is Self-Care Oriented

Find you a business bestie that’s not all work and no play. As a woman, mom, business owner, I tend to really stack on the projects, the tasks and the traveling…

We as woman just gotta do all the things, right?

You need someone in your corner that encourages you to rest, relax and recharge when we need it. Who better to recognize that than a fellow woman from our village of business besties.

While I may not need to sleep when the baby takes a nap anymore because well, my kids aren’t babies anymore (who am I kidding? I still need naps, thought! lol) I do still need to recharge and rest, so the logic applies.

Get you a business bestie that is all for taking care of yourself because self love and self care is something we all need and don’t take nearly enough of. Your business bestie is gonna say, ‘Sis, you need a break,” when you can’t quite tell yourself that.

Where To Find A Business Bestie

It takes a village to raise a mama with a hustle. Find a village. Encourage one another and open your village to others.

There’s many different ways to go about this search to expand your village contacts.

Utilize Facebook Groups

Personally, I have found several of my closest business best friends on Facebook. I have successfully found so many amazing minds online within Facebook groups and sometimes you just have to shoot your shot and introduce yourself to new people.

Just by doing that, you’re not only finding a potential business BFF, but you are at the very least expanding your network, which is great especially if you go by the saying, “Your net worth is your network.”

Now, am I saying join a Facebook group and then be creepy and send inboxes to people. No, I’m not.

What I AM saying though, is paying attention to the interactions happening, chiming in on matters that are important to you and opening yourself up to the possibility of finding a business bestie in the group.

I loved meeting people so much in online Facebook groups that I made my own Facebook group because I love collaborating and mingling with women who are about that business and family life. That’s how I found my village and opened it to others.

The great thing about FB groups is there’s a group for everyone. So whatever you’re into, type that into Facebook’s search feature and add the word GROUP behind it. I bet you’ll pull a ton of search results for whatever your interest is.

Get Up the Nerve to Say Hey The Next Time You Work at the Coffee Shop

Another fun way to meet some business besties to add to your village would be striking up convos with women you meet in co-working spaces. Am I saying you have to have a membership to a swanky co working space?

Absolutely not.

I am saying that if you’re working somewhere other than home (that could be at your local coffee spot, your fave juice bar or heck, I’ve worked out of McDonald’s a couple times…) reach out to at least one other person working in the same space. Even if it’s just to say…

“Hi, I noticed you here working, I’m here working, too. I do ABC, what do you do?”

I sometimes even throw in a, ‘Hey I’m not trying to sell you anything…,’ if they’re giving me that look. You know what look I’m talkin about!

Don’t be afraid to approach people, break the ice and strike up a conversation.

For a very short time, I was selling ItWorks! and I remember my up-line always preaching to tell 5+ people a day what you do or sell because otherwise, how will they know what you have to offer?

That kind of stuck with me as a small business owner because now, I love telling people what I do not just for the sales but because you never know where you might meet the next person to welcome into your village.

Network In Person

Getting out and meeting people in person is PRICELESS. Don’t sleep on attending events organized especially of those looking to meet others interested in similar topics. 

When searching for events, remember, Google is your best friend, especially if you’re looking to attend a larger event. 😉

You can also use the event tab in Facebook to find events that are of interest to you or you can try looking on MeetUp. com. Fun thing about meet up.com is that if there’s nothing on there that connects you to the people you wanna connect with the most, you can create your own networking event.

When you DO attend these networking events, you’ve gotta make sure to do just that.

Network.

Don’t limit yourself to sitting and talking with the ladies you’re comfortable with already. No. Get a little uncomfortable and make it your mission to meet one to two new people that help you walk in your purpose. The catch is, you’ve just gotta find them. And you can’t do that by just sitting around your same old circle.

It takes a village to raise a business owner who can build profitable businesses while maintaining their work life balance and sanity. Find a village. Encourage one another and open your village to others.

I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and really put yourself out there because you’re awesome. You need someone and someone needs you! If you’re a mama navigating raising your family and building your business, I’d love to have you in my village 😉

Send a request to join here!

If you have an online community of any sort, geared towards mamas in anyway, I’d love if you tell a little about it in the comments and how to join! 

Business Besties are the Best Besties. <3 Learn how to find a business bestie and how a business bestie helped grow my business!

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