We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post.
Full disclaimer: I’m a work in progress so getting over myself to be a better mom is an ongoing adventure.
Motherhood isn’t easy but you don’t need me to tell you that.
I have four kids and constantly feel like I’m not doing enough. When they do things that are ‘failures’ in society’s eyes, I feel like I have somehow failed them.
“I should have prepared them better for a situation like that. ”
“I should have taught them better than that. ”
“You are a reflection of me and apparently, I’m not that great lookin at times. ”
These are the typical thoughts in my head. Day in and day out. I was stressed because I was trying to mold them into what it seems they SHOULD be.
This thinking got really old this year for me. I realized a few things and basically did an about face and have been working on getting over myself to be a better mom and prepare my kids for the real world.
Not the fairytale land that we often see on social media.
Here are three things I did to help me start getting over myself to be a better mom and be a more present mom day in and day out.
Stop caring what others think.
In the words of Will Smith…Tell other people to…
I really struggled with this. I parent way outside of the box that my family is used to seeing and hearing about. I’m not content to just raise up my kids how I was raised. There was nothing wrong with my upbringing but things are different now and I need to parent accordingly.
I’m all for open discussions with my kids and trying new techniques when it comes to building a closer relationship with them.
At this point, I’m giving zero f**** about what people (family included!) thinks about my parenting style. At the end of the day, I’m responsible for putting these humans out into this world. Nobody else.How to Be A Better Mom: Stop Giving #AF about what others think. Click To Tweet
2. Accept that everything will not go as planned.
As an avid list maker and scheduler, I detest anything that breaks the schedule. Applying my first tip, I’m gonna say this and know it may ruffle some feathers. If you’re one of these people, please read a few lines up that I don’t a damn what you think…
I was starting to detest my kids because very little seemed to go as planned.
I felt/feel so much guilt when I have these feelings but I KNOW I can’t be the only one.
I’d plan a perfect weekend family mini-vaca just to have it go to hell because my kid decides to run indoors at the hotel and ends up running into a door and knocking his teeth out.
I’ve planned perfect birthday parties, just for my kid to be a brat face thru the entire thing.
Y’all, I had to let it go. I had to leave some wiggle room and ‘plan to fail.’
Going into the day understanding that it will likely NOT go as planned, helped me to not take it so hard and spaz out when the inevitable ‘unplanned’ happened.
3. Talk HONESTLY to your mom friends.
I was bottling all this anxiety and feelings of failure up inside of me, which my good friend, Ms. Shauna would say, ‘That’s no bueno.’
When I started mentioning some of the troubles I was having with other mom friends, I realized that I wasn’t as alone in this as I’d thought.
Having a person who understands what you’re going thru and who you can talk to with no judgment goes more than a long way.
I started using social media to connect with other moms who are in similar situations as me. My fave way to connect with other moms outside of my normal circle has been Facebook groups.Be a better mom by connecting with other moms connected by the #KidStruggle.Click To Tweet
The feeling of belonging to something bigger was pretty addicting and having people to vent to was great!
Love it so much that I started my own group to find women who ‘got me.’ I love my group: Don’t Knock the Hustle Mama Edition.
If you’re a mom who has a hustle that you’re trying to grow and love on while you grow and love on your kiddos, you’re welcome to join me in there.
Getting over these couple of things helped me to be a better, more present mom. My anxiety levels have decreased somewhat and the more I put these into practice… the better it feels!